


Bad Hair Day

by lady_dorkula



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Arkham Asylum, Batjokes, Idiots in Love, M/M, Public Display of Affection, Some Humor, Some Plot, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, With A Twist, a touch of, and a whole lot of, shameless flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24687403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_dorkula/pseuds/lady_dorkula
Summary: It's official! Arkham Asylum is not the most terrible place on Earth anymore.ORThat feeling when you realize you're in actual love with your enemy, you're surrounded by raving lunatics, and you don't really give a damn, for once.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 32
Kudos: 201





	Bad Hair Day

Interesting how much Arkham could change in just a few months, and yet still feel so oppressively claustrophobic every time he walked down its long dark halls. Perhaps some things always stayed the same. Despite the numerous attempts at renovating and improving the facility throughout the years, there was still that certain pervasive odor that lingered perpetually in the air and permeated the very walls of the asylum, refusing to go away no matter how many coats of paint were applied one over the other to mask it, or keep it at bay. It was almost as if the old building itself stubbornly resisted the changes no matter how shiny and modern they tried to make it look. Years of suffering, madness, and despair have permanently left their mark on this place, like scars that would never heal properly, serving as a constant reminder of Arkham’s dark history.

Where Batman’s role ended, Bruce Wayne’s began. He had made quite a few generous donations to the institution over the years, in hopes that he could provide the proper care and conditions to facilitate the recovery and rehabilitation of its patients, most of which he himself had put there. So in a way, it was also his responsibility to make sure they received the help they sorely needed. Many doctors had taken advantage of his rogues for their own twisted experiments, treating them like less than human beings because no one would care what would happen to the mentally ill criminals. That very thought sickened Bruce. He wanted to make sure nothing like this would ever be allowed to happen again. Luckily, all his investments have allowed him to play a big part in picking the staff and keeping a close eye on the affairs of the asylum to prevent any malpractice. Now if only his rogues would try and cooperate…Even if they hated Batman for foiling their plans and locking them in here, he still cared about what would happen to them.

Bruce lost his line of thought when a wail broke the precarious silence in the hall. A pair of guards rushed past him and got into a cell far ahead. It was late at night, but that didn’t really mean all the patients were asleep. There was no rest for the wicked. Or the weary.

“Batman?” A woman rushed past him as well, before stopping dead in her tracks out of surprise. She was clearly not expecting to see him here. She snapped out of it when another pained cry echoed through the hallway, requiring her attention. “Will you excuse me for just a moment?” She went into the same room as the guards did just seconds ago and the cries gradually died down soon after that. Bruce could hear the woman’s soothing voice as he approached the cell and observed what was happening inside from a respectful distance outside the room.

The two guards were holding a man down while the woman pocketed something in her lab coat, most likely a syringe, and sat next to him on the edge of the bed. She took the man’s shaky hand and by the looks of it, her gesture had as calming an effect on her patient as the shot had. She must have known him well, and was clearly not afraid of him or what he could do.

“Shhh…you’ll be okay. He’s gone now. See? He can’t hurt you anymore, I promise.” She squeezed his hand gently before looking at the guards. “You can let go now, he won’t be any trouble,” she instructed and the guards did as they were told, standing by just in case the patient got violent again, but the chances of that happening now were slim to none. She let go of his hand a few beats after the man’s eyes closed, leaving her patient to his much needed sleep, preferably more restful than before his fit occurred. The two guards followed her out of the cell and locked the door again. They gave Batman a respectful nod as they walked by him, returning to their duties.

“I thought I heard the others say you were here, but I could hardly believe it,” she pushed the glasses up her nose and used the opportunity to take a better look at the late-night visitor. The cogs turned in her head as she assessed the Bat, or to be more precise, the man behind the Bat. It was one thing to hear stories about Gotham’s dark knight, but another to actually see him in person. Interesting. “May I ask what you’re doing here? Visiting hours aren’t for,” she looked at her wrist watch, “another twelve hours at least.”

Bruce remembered her now. She was one of the recently appointed doctors at Arkham, a more than capable psychiatrist in her late thirties, with a strong sense of compassion, dedicated to her work and the patients under her care. Despite her gentle and unassuming demeanor, she still commanded authority and instilled respect. Bruce had done a more than thorough background check on all the candidates and judging by her previous experience with challenging individuals, she seemed like the kind of person who could do some real good work here and hopefully make a change for the better. And from what he had heard and seen so far, she was doing just that.

“Oh, but where are my manners,” she tucked a stray lock of brown hair behind her ear and extended her hand towards the Bat. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Dr. Elizabeth Barlowe.” After a short pause, Bruce shook her hand. She had a firm grip that spoke of the strength of her character. Barring her surprise earlier, she didn’t seem perturbed or intimidated by Batman’s formidable presence. She must have seen it all by now. There was something about her that put him at ease but he couldn’t put his finger on what that thing was.

“You already know who I am.” 

“There’s hardly anyone who doesn’t,” the corners of her mouth turned up in a small amused smile before she pulled her hand back and pushed her glasses up again. “So is this some sort of an emergency? I can’t think why else you would be here at this hour.”

“Not exactly,” Bruce hesitated with his response. Of course, he knew why he was here, but now that he actually _was_ here it all seemed so whimsical and unimportant compared to his usual reasons and motivations for being here. He never really visited Arkham unless he was on a case that required extracting information from one of the more troublesome in-mates, or to commit said troublesome in-mates to the asylum. So this put him in a rather awkward but interesting position. “I’m here to see the Joker,” he admitted, reluctant to explain any further. “It won’t take long.”

“Oh?” Elizabeth lifted her eyebrow, intrigued. A social call then. “In that case, I’m afraid you are looking for him in the wrong place,” she beckoned to Bruce to follow her back to where he came from and continued. “We had to transfer him to Maximum Security this evening after…the accident.” Bruce could detect a note of disappointment in her tone as he walked beside her down the hallway. 

“Accident?” He was somehow not surprised the clown had done something crazy again.

When they reached the end of the hallway, she pressed the button to call the elevator, and nodded.

“Yes. He nearly killed one of the guards earlier. He refused to take his medicine and threw a fit so when the guard went in to calm him down Joker jumped him like a wild animal and almost ripped his throat out with his teeth,” she shook her head with regret as they stepped inside the elevator. “Poor Bill, he was only trying to help…Thankfully, we managed to stop and restrain Joker before he could do more damage.” She swiped her keycard over the scanner and pressed the button that would take them two floors down. “I believed we were making good progress with him. Slow, but progress nevertheless…He seemed calm during our session this morning. I can’t imagine what could have triggered him to act this way all of a sudden.”

“He…does that.” Bruce sighed, too familiar with Joker’s behavior to be surprised by his antics and unpredictable behavior. That didn’t mean he liked it, but he had accepted it for what it was. There was no point in trying to change Joker if Joker himself didn’t want to change as well. At least the guard was still alive after his brush with death. Bruce would make sure he was well-taken care of, and that his medical bills were covered.

“I see…You seem to know him better than anyone here,” the doctor mused as she gave Batman a long and calculating look which Bruce tried to ignore, along with her astute remark. Right now, he didn’t have the mind to elaborate on the complexities of Joker’s inner workings. Maybe he just selfishly wanted to keep his knowledge and understanding to himself.

The elevator gave off a low humming noise as they descended to Maximum Security in silence. Eventually, they reached their floor and the doors slid open to reveal another long and dimly-lit hallway that seemed to extend forever in the distance. A couple of guards greeted the doctor and regarded Batman with curiosity as the two walked past them and proceeded further into the most secure part of the asylum which housed the more dangerous and unstable of the rogues. 

Maybe that’s why Joker did it. He wanted to be among his fellow rogues more than among the general population of lunatics. Or maybe he missed driving them crazy for his own amusement. What else was he to do while being locked up in here day and night with no other source of entertainment? That was all the reason he needed. Great, now he was even thinking like Joker. He wondered if that explanation would make as much sense to the good doctor as it did to him.

In the end, Bruce opted to keep his thoughts and insight to himself as they made their way down the hall, passing by the cells of familiar faces left and right. Some of the in-mates seemed to be fast asleep while others were anything but as they stirred in their cells, roused by the movement outside.

“Look who’s here, boys and girls…Are they finally locking you up too with the rest of us freaks, Batman? We should be so lucky,” Harvey approached the security glass separating his cell from the hallway and gave Bruce the stink eye. “Careful, doc. He’s crazier than all of us combined,” he warned the doctor as they passed by his cell.

“You’ve made a lot of friends here,” she commented as they walked deeper into the den of criminals when another in-mate banged furiously on the glass and screamed a few choice words at Batman. His language was certainly…colorful.

“I ascribe it to my charming personality,” Bruce deadpanned.

Elizabeth couldn’t help but snort at the remark and fixed her glasses again. “I’d say it’s a lot more than that, but I’m not here to analyze you. I already have my hands full with all my patients here. Though, I would welcome the change of pace,” she left her options open. Batman’s lack of response was telling. The man clearly preferred to keep things close to his chest. 

Bruce could tell they were nearing Joker’s cell when the doctor spoke again.

“I have to warn you, he might still be a little out of it. We had to put him under to stop his violent outburst earlier this night. We had to give him a much larger dose because the regular ones don’t seem to affect him in any way due to his special circumstances.” Elizabeth explained before they stopped in front of one of the cells.

There he was, lying in his bed. Quiet and calm. Uncharacteristically so. Bruce wasn’t sure he liked what he saw even though he understood why it had to come to that.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you in, however, considering the circumstances,” she talked in a more hushed tone. “For his own sake, I’d prefer if you didn’t rattle my patient now that he has finally settled down. I hope you’ll understand.” She was gazing at the pale man who kept lying in his bed, unmoving and seemingly oblivious to their presence. Was he asleep? It must have been due to all the sedatives they had given him, because Joker was usually quite the insomniac. Bruce felt almost guilty he would disturb his much needed rest.

“I do,” Bruce finally agreed to her terms. He was genuinely hoping for something more than just seeing Joker through the glass, but he had to work with what he had. He didn’t come here in vain, the least he could do was make the most of this visit. After all, he was as good as his word. 

Not to mention the fact that he missed the crazy clown too.

“Thank you,” Dr. Barlowe sighed with relief, glad that Batman was being reasonable and most importantly, that he favored the well-being of her patients over his own personal motivations for being here. 

“Can you give us a few minutes, doctor?” Bruce tried, unsure if she would go so far as to leave him alone with Joker, considering the state he was in. 

The woman hesitated for a long moment as she looked between Batman and her patient, mulling over the request before she gave in and sighed again. She knocked lightly on the glass to get Joker’s attention because she knew he was not asleep even if it looked that way. “It’s a bit late but there’s someone here to see you.” When her patient stirred on the bed, she nodded to Batman and turned to leave so they could have some privacy. “I’ll check in on one of my other patients in the meantime.”

Bruce gave the doctor a nod too, grateful that she was being so understanding, though maybe she was just extending him the courtesy he showed her earlier. Either way, he was glad he could get some alone time with Joker, even if it meant speaking through a glass wall.

A surprised yelp followed by a muffled thud got his attention. He turned to see what was happening inside the cell when he noticed the clown had managed to roll out of bed and fall unceremoniously down on the floor. Joker must have hit his head because he was rubbing it weakly as he lay there. He groaned as he struggled to right himself and get up, but his movements were sluggish, clumsy and uncoordinated.

He was drugged up, alright. And Bruce wasn’t thrilled to see him in such a sorry state, so vulnerable and weak. He wished he could go inside and help the other man up instead of being forced to stand and watch him struggle like that. Bruce pressed his fist on the glass, feeling the anger rise in him.

“Batsy?” Joker squinted as he tried to focus on whoever was on the other side of the glass. He got on his shaky feet with some effort and wobbled closer to try and get a better look at his visitor, when the blurry picture finally became clearer. “Batsy! It’s really you! I thought I was tripping.” His glassy eyes sparkled with joy and a million-watt smile lit up his cell in an instant.

Joker’s feet were clearly not cooperating with him as he stumbled closer and almost fell down on his face again. Bruce felt sorry for him and again wished he could be in there to keep him up and steady on his feet. He wondered if they would let him near Joker again if he just let himself in there without permission, and risked violating the doctor’s trust so blatantly. But it remained just that, a thought.

“Of all the nights, you picked the one when I’m high off my ass to visit me. Figures…” Joker giggled and leaned on the glass for support, his expression dazed but happy. “Doesn’t mean I’m not glad to see your handsome mug.”

It was scary how different Joker looked now, like that. Without the makeup, his face looked somehow even more ghastly and haggard. The orange Arkham overalls did nothing to compliment his body either, not like the flamboyant colors and elegant cuts of his trademark suits did. Now, Joker wasn’t even in full control of his own body, sedated, worn, and emaciated. Most would say it’s the least he deserved. Bruce, however, still felt sympathy for the devil. He always would.

“What’s wrong, darling? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Joker leaned on the glass with his shoulder in an attempt to remain upright, even though he felt light-headed and everything around him was spinning out of control. He offered a grin to mask his discomfort but the Bat was not amused and saw right through it.

Bruce clenched his fist on the glass. Yeah, he decided that he hated seeing Joker so powerless. It was one thing when it was by choice, but a whole other thing when it was forced on him. He wouldn’t be in this helpless position if only he behaved. 

Instead of losing himself in his irrational frustrations which were aimed not just at the clown but at his caretakers as well, Bruce decided to speak at last, done wasting the precious few minutes they could share together.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, concern lacing his voice.

Bruce admired Joker’s green messy mop of hair that was sticking out in every and all direction, unruly and wild just like its owner who was blissfully unaware of his disheveled state right now. The sight was rather endearing and it gave Bruce the irresistible urge to reach out and smooth the soft hair back, to put it in some semblance of order again. But he couldn’t. He silently cursed the transparent barrier between them.

“Woozy!” The clown snickered as his head reeled. “I hope I’ll remember this in the morning. I’d be very disappointed otherwise, seeing as you only visit me once every never.” He giggled again and his head almost hit the glass.

Damn his luck. Bruce wished the clown was more lucid and coherent for this but fate had decided to throw a wrench in the works and make things difficult again. Seemed fitting, considering there was nothing easy or simple about their encounters, peaceful or not. He was not going to give up that easily, though.

“I hear you’ve been misbehaving again,” Bruce commented on Joker’s recent mischief, but it didn’t sound as condemning as it was supposed to. It actually sounded playful and flirty instead. 

“And what if I have?” Joker’s eyes twinkled as he admired his Bat, despite having difficulty focusing on anything. But he would be damned if he didn’t try. “What are _you_ gonna do about it, hm?” He bit his lip and leaned closer, his face almost touching the glass as he gazed challengingly the Bat, daring him to do something. “Are you gonna come in here and teach me a lesson?”

The list of things Bruce hated was growing at an increasing rate. He decided that he also hated the thick layer of glass that separated them right now. So close, yet so far away from each other.

“I promised the good doctor not to rattle her patient too much, so I suppose I’ll have to take a rain check on that.” The Bat gave a tiny smile in return as he took in Joker’s features. He might look like death had warmed over but Bruce still found himself drawn to the other man, like a ship steered on a collision course with the cliffs despite the warning signs. There was something very intimate about seeing Joker like this, stripped bare of all the fancy clothing and makeup that he liked to parade in, even though, Bruce had to admit the clown looked damn good in those. But the raw and unapologetic reality underneath it all the protective layers of half-truths was just as enticing.

“Is that so…” Joker gave him a once-over and his smile widened at the suggestion. “I can hardly wait.”

“Ugh, I think I’m gonna be sick.” An exaggerated gagging sound came from somewhere behind Bruce. There was no mistaking who that voice belonged to. When Bruce turned to confirm his suspicions he saw Edward Nygma, standing with his arms crossed and looking at them with disgust from his own cell across the hall. “Are you two idiots quite done flirting?! Some of us are trying to sleep here, thank you very much!!” He shouted, and if Batman and Joker’s playful banter hadn’t woken up the rest of the in-mates, then Riddler’s loud complaining certainly did now. For someone who wanted peace and quiet, he certainly acted the opposite way. 

“You’re just jealous Batsy likes me better than you, Eddie,” Joker didn’t help matters any, of course, as he taunted the puzzle-obsessed rogue and stuck his tongue out at him like a child.

“Am NOT!” Nygma countered with more anger, predictably rising to the bait.

“Are too!!” Joker mocked him.

This was ridiculous. Bruce felt like he was in pre-school, surrounded by children.

“Shut up, both of you!” He tried to settle this argument before it escalated any further. “Nygma, go back to sleep!” The Riddler scoffed, ready to deliver another scathing remark, probably something along the lines of “you’re not the boss of me, Batman”, but Bruce didn’t give him the chance to continue his endless prattling. “And not another word! You’re the one waking up everyone.”

All the while Joker watched the exchange with great satisfaction. All that was missing was some popcorn. There was just something about Batman putting Eddie in his place, heck, anyone putting Eddie in his place, that made him immeasurably happy. The arrogant bastard needed to be taken down a peg or two.

“What’s all this ruckus then?” Elizabeth returned, drawn by the loud racket the men were making. “I thought I told you not to rattle my patients, Batman,” she looked reproachfully at Bruce, clearly blaming him for the sudden disturbance in the peace. She should have known he would have a negative effect on her patients. Too much excitement at such a late hour was not good for anyone.

“Hey, it wasn’t his fault, doc, I swear,” Joker chimed in to defend his Bat, and pointed at the Riddler accusatory. “He started it! Punish him instead!”

This was _really_ getting out of hand.

The doctor let out a long sigh. “No one is getting punished. That’s not what we are doing in this facility anymore. Let’s just all take a few deep breaths and calm down. Think about your happy place. Slowly breathe in…hold…then breathe out. Again. That’s it.” 

Surprisingly to Bruce, even Nygma followed her instructions and he was a pretty tough nut to crack, not someone who would follow anyone’s orders but his own. They must really like and trust Dr. Barlowe. Bruce was glad they considered their doctor an ally, enough to listen to her and consider her suggestions. This was a very good sign, indeed. The asylum itself might still cling to the past, but the people who worked here made sure time would start moving forward again. No one was beyond hope as long as there was someone who still believed in them. Bruce couldn’t have left his rogues in better hands.

“Batman will be leaving now anyways, right, Batman?” She gave him a rather pointed look that told him he was not allowed to say no.

Bruce knew he’d overstayed his welcome and nodded his understanding before he looked back at Joker, sorry that they couldn’t have more time to catch up. The sad frown on Joker’s face tugged at his heartstrings, hard enough to make him want to stay despite the doctor’s orders. Or at least long enough to see the other man smile again. When did Batman get so sappy?

“Will you come see me again, Batsy? Maybe when I’m more myself?” Joker pressed his palm against the glass as he gazed at the Bat pleadingly. Again with the puppy eyes. He looked even cuter this way, with his hair sticking out in every direction, none the wiser about what a beautiful mess he was right now. “I’ll…try to behave this time. Really.” It was hard to miss the desperate note in his voice.

In that moment, Bruce didn’t care if the whole asylum saw him reach out to his enemy. There was only so much affection he could hide behind the tough exterior of his menacing cowl and suit. Not even doubt and shame could stop him from acting now.

Love was not something to be ashamed of. Love…

A smile tugged at his lips. Maybe there was hope for them too after all.

Bruce lifted his hand and pressed his palm against the glass, opposite Joker’s hand. 

“I will.”

There it was. What he longed to see again. That sweet, genuine smile that no one else would ever get the chance to witness. No one else but Bruce, because it was reserved solely for him.

And a bunch of dumbfounded rogues and their doctor apparently, at this moment.

“Oh…” Elizabeth was left speechless, but now some parts of the puzzle finally fell into place and she could see the bigger picture. Everything started to make more sense now. The unannounced visit in the middle of the night that had nothing to do with Batman’s business or any of his cases, the reluctance to explain its purpose, and the ease with which the two men interacted. She didn’t know Batman that well yet, but Joker - she knew well enough from their sessions to notice how his whole demeanor changed when he talked about the caped vigilante, and how he acted now that Batman was around. Maybe this was the key.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Riddler groaned and facepalmed. He quickly got back to his bed and turned his back so he didn’t have to witness the sickeningly sweet display of affection. Joker and Batman…really?! The Joker, he was not surprised at, but Batman?? He shuddered at the images his mind conjured up and quickly pulled the blanket over his head to block out the crazy scene happening right outside his cell. Death would be preferable to hearing and seeing these two fools fawn over each other.

“Hey, what’s happening? Why did everyone shut up all of a sudden? I can’t see from here.” Another voice called out from a cell further down the hall. The silence was evidence enough there was definitely something big going on and he was missing out on the action. 

“Nothing to see here, just go back to sleep, everyone. Doctor’s orders,” Elizabeth took it upon herself to contain the situation and even though there were still murmurs among the patients, they listened and gradually quieted down. Whatever she had witnessed was a private affair which was not meant for her or the rest of her patients to see. It wasn’t her place to tell either. But it sure put things into perspective now. “Now if you’d follow me out, Batman…” 

Bruce reluctantly tore his gaze away from Joker’s verdant green eyes and contented smile to nod and acknowledge the doctor, before he looked back at the happy clown to give him a small but reassuring smile goodbye. “I’ll be seeing you then.”

Joker chased after him from behind the glass and nearly stumbled and fell down again because it was hard to remain steady on his wobbly feet. With all the fuzzy feels that coursed through his body right now he all but forgot how doped he was with sedatives to begin with. He didn’t know if his heart was swelling with love, or from the drugs. He liked to think it was the former. No, he was damn sure of it.

“Batsy, darling, wait!” The clown called out after him before the Bat could disappear from sight.

Bruce turned at the mention of his name and his heart skipped a beat when he saw the Joker press a kiss on the cold glass that separated them.

“No one would believe me anyways,” the doctor muttered under her breath, pushed her glasses up and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Brucie really picked the worst time to visit, but all's well that ends well. Can't say anything in my defense, I'm just a total sucker for cheesy fluff and good feels so I guess that's what you get. Really wanted to write something a little different, a bit shorter and a whole lot sweeter between these two, cause there can never be enough of that good sweet lovin'! Well, not THAT kind this time around 😉
> 
> Also got inspired by The birth of Arkham Knight origin story in Detective Comics #1004 for my doctor OC. For once, I wanted to see a wholesome person working in Arkham, so I made it happen! Like, not all people in Gotham are jerks, right? They can't be!
> 
> In a way this fic continues the story from my previous one, Coming to Terms. It's all connected in my head, but I guess I'm just allergic to writing chaptered fics like normal people do. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Aaaanyways, thank you so much for reading, and any kind of love is more than welcome!! Drop me a line or two (or three) down in the comments if you liked it, I'd be so happy to read y'all's reactions 🥰
> 
> Edit: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, I LOVE YOU ALL, YOU'RE TOO SWEET!! 💚


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